A huge, giant, colossal THANK YOU to everyone who donated in the past week! You guys are truly lifesavers! Many thanks also to everyone who helped get the word out on Twitter and Facebook and especially to the awesome bloggers who asked their readers to lend us a helping hand.

As a result of your help, we will be able to pay our rent and utilities in February! I have also been able to buy more of my meds, which is a good thing because I’ve been battling severe depression (probably not entirely the result of my messed up brain chemistry). And, very importantly, we’ll be able to take care of our beloved Balou.

We’re treating him with nutrition, herbs, and other supplements rather than “conventional” cancer therapy. Even if we could afford surgery and chemo, which we can’t, I’d have difficulty subjecting him to painful, debilitating treatments at his age. We can’t be sure exactly how old our wonderful boy is given that he was a fully-grown adult when we adopted him, but he has to be at least 13 and could be 14 or 15. In other words, he’s already quite old for a dog of his size and breed. Our goal is to keep him happy and comfortable as long as we can. He was fading badly in December but has regained some of his strength thanks to the treatment your donations help make possible.

We now have almost a month to get back on our feet financially, and I’ll be spending every waking moment not occupied with the canine pack trying to do just that. Which unfortunately means this blog will likely be neglected a while longer. I will, however, keep you all posted on our situation. We’re currently still without work, but hopefully that will change soon!

I haven’t written for a while because my best friend was dying of cancer and nothing else seemed important. It’s been three weeks now since she passed away, and the world feels like an awfully dreary place without her in it. She is the second close friend/family member who has died this year, and I was still reeling from the first death (a tragic accident) when I learned that my best friend’s cancer was terminal.

At times like these I wish I was religious and/or believed in some type of afterlife. It would be easier to cope if I thought I’d see my loved ones again some day. Unfortunately I don’t. I think when we die, that’s it. Game over. Of course I could be wrong. I hope I’m wrong.

The thing is, if I thought there’s an afterlife, I might be tempted to join my loved ones right now. That’s what I don’t get about religious people who claim to be certain that they’re going to Heaven and all that: Even when they’re old and sick and in a lot of pain, most of them cling to life until the last moment, opting for every conceivable medical procedure to prolong their existence in this world. Why? If you really believe that Heaven is waiting, why hang around after so many of your loved ones have already died, your body has broken down, and you’re in excruciating pain? I guess they don’t have as much faith in this stuff as they would have us believe.

It’s the same with abortion. According to the belief system of most anti-choicers, wouldn’t that “innocent unborn child” be on the express elevator to Heaven once a pregnancy has been aborted? Spared all the pain and torment and injustice of this world. And no chance to fuck up and end up in Hell. Isn’t that a good thing?